How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will help?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a therapeutic approach that aims to solve problems which are associated with dysfunctional emotions, behaviors and thoughts through a goal-oriented, systematic talking procedure with a therapist along with day to day practice outside the therapy office. Treatment is often supported through use of a manual. The techniques used in this therapy are often directive and brief in nature. There is research evidence that CBT is effective for the treatment of a variety of problems, including mood, anxiety, and personality problems.
How Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) will help?
Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) places focus on a person's present and future circumstances and goals rather than past experiences. In this goal-oriented therapy, the symptoms or issues bringing a person to therapy are typically not targeted.
Instead, we encourages those in treatment to develop a vision of the future and offers support as they determine the skills, resources, and abilities needed to achieve that vision successfully.
SFBT can be used to treat a wide range of issues and successfully been used in individual therapy and with both families and couples. Developed with the primary intention of helping those in therapy to find solutions to challenges, the approach has expanded to address issues in other areas of life, such as schools and workplaces. Individuals from different cultures, backgrounds, and age groups have all been shown to benefit from this type of therapy.
How Hypnotherapy works?
Hypnotherapy is thought to work by altering our state of consciousness in such a way that the analytical left-hand side of the brain is turned off, while the non-analytical right-hand side is made more alert. The conscious control of the mind is inhibited, and the subconscious mind awoken. Since the subconscious mind is a deeper-seated, more instinctive force than the conscious mind, this is the part which has to change for the client's behaviour and physical state to alter.
For example, a client who consciously wants to overcome their fear of spiders may try everything they consciously can to do it, but will still fail as long as their subconscious mind retains this terror and prevents the client from succeeding. Progress can only be made by reprogramming the subconscious so that deep-seated instincts and beliefs are abolished or altered.
In therapy, it usually involves the person experiencing a sense of deep relaxation with their attention narrowed down, and focused on appropriate suggestions made by the therapist. These suggestions help people make positive changes within themselves.
Long gone are the days when hypnotherapy was seen as waving watches and controlling people's minds. In a hypnotherapy session you are always in control and you are not made to do anything. It is generally accepted that all hypnosis is ultimately self-hypnosis. A hypnotherapist merely helps to facilitate your experience - hypnotherapy is not about being made to do things, in fact it is the opposite, it is about empowerment.
What is The Goulding SleepTalk® Process?
The Goulding SleepTalk® Process is an alternative and substance-free self-help process for parents coping with a challenging child. Sometimes a lack of knowledge, assistance and/or family support can cause parents to doubt their parenting abilities; feel misunderstood and on a merry-go-round of endless consultations and dead ends. This process is about presenting a substance-free, safe, non- intrusive and ethical process for parents to use in the safety and comfort of their own home while their child or children are asleep and it’s easy to apply.
The process helps to develop your child’s emotional resilience because all children benefit from developing a positive and confident sense of self. This occurs without disturbing the sleeping child, and allows them to awaken in the morning with a more positive mindset. It only takes the parents a few moments to present and it’s been called a 2 minute gift with changes that last a life time. Anxiety levels reduce which offers your child the ability to deal with their world. Positive change can start to become apparent after only a few weeks of implementing the process. The Goulding SleepTalk® Process I think has some similarities to the work that Dr. Norman Doidge developed over the past few years which he called ‘Neuroplasticity’.
You say the process helps create emotional health. Tell me more about that?
Emotional health in childhood in my opinion ‘is the key to future happiness’. In Australia a national paper – The Observer reported that Lord Richard Layard – Emeritus professor of economics at the London School of Economics (LSE) and his colleagues at the Wellbeing research program at the LSE Centre conclude that a child’s emotional health is far more important to their satisfaction levels as an adult than other factors. He further states that: “Emotional health in childhood is the key to future happiness.” The LSE study suggests that: “money, success and good grades are less important.”
Society tells us that education is important; however emotional intelligence and resilience is equally essential for our children. This education and intelligence really starts with babies in the womb who are listening and feeling everything that the mother feels and this can impact healthy brain and body development. How can we have peace in the world without having peaceful happy children? A substance/drug free process taking only 2 minutes a night can help not only your child but also educate parents, who are the catalyst to ensure children develop with a positive mind set.
The process introduces an alternative substance-free model (without contraindications) and educates parents as well as assisting children. Behavior modification and the development of alternative strategies are developed during sleep, assisting with communication and family dynamics. During sleep the physiological change from a state of deep sleep to wakefulness is reversible and mediated by the reticular activating system (RAS). Research published in ‘Current Biology’ studies show: “that complex stimuli can not only be processed while we sleep but that this information can be used to make decisions, similarly as when we’re awake.”
This 2 minute per night process that parents can offer, reduces anxiety, helps communication and develops positive behavior modification.
In SleepTalk® for Children it is said that it is not appropriate to use persuasion with SleepTalk®. Why?
Using persuasion such as “I love you because you were good today” may activate the “conscious critical analysis”. In other words it could awaken the awareness of the child. Also using persuasion causes problems, if, for example, you said, “you will be happy today because it is school holidays”.
What happens when the child needs to go to school? You have created a situation and a belief that they will only be happy if it is school holidays.
How would you describe the child who awakens very easily, has difficulty going to sleep, or is often awake throughout the night?
Very anxious. The Goulding SleepTalk® Process should be able to help but it may be difficult the first week or so, to actually access the deep subconscious mind. Your child may be fitful or have difficulty going to sleep, possibly wakes up easily. If you persist in your SleepTalk® process your child will gain a sense of confidence, the anxiety will be reduced each time you use The Goulding SleepTalk® Process because you will be reinforcing their basic self-image and a belief that “it’s OK” and hopefully get a good night’s sleep eventually! By reducing the state of anxiety you compound the amount of suggestion given and accepted by that child. Very gradually, creating a new positive belief system and self-image. A distressed or anxious child will gradually accept the positive suggestions. A quietness and anxiety-free state of mind will develop and gradually they will become more and more able to accept the suggestions. Remember, you can never eliminate a memory, but you can add to it, alter or change the energy of that memory. As you create a compounding effect with a positive suggestion it will eventually become more powerful than the “negative” effect of the “I’m not OK” belief structure.
If a child has a basic negative structure and a feeling of “I’m not OK, I can’t do something, or I’m not as good as someone else”, won’t The Goulding SleepTalk® Process create confusion?
Possibly yes. Initially, it’s possible that confusion would be a result of The Goulding SleepTalk® Process. You may be aware of the process called psycho-cybernetics, which discusses the fact that it takes up to 21 days for the acceptance of a change of thought. This is very similar. Over a period of time, the new process of thinking starts to build against the “I’m not OK”.
The information accepted into the computer (the subconscious section of the mind) would be stored as fact alongside the negative belief. So if we say to the mind memory bank of belief “I’m OK. Mummy loves me. Daddy loves me, it will be a happy day today” and we place that positive suggestion alongside the negative “I’m not OK” directly into the child’s belief structure without conscious critical analysis, without negative analysis, without any alterations, then the belief structure within that child will start to change. Yes, it may cause initial confusion, but very gradually becomes the primary accepted suggestions.
In other words, we are able to bombard the subconscious belief structure with the positive fact “I am loved, I’m OK, It’s OK”. Suddenly, the suggestions of “I’m OK” will become stronger than the “I’m not OK” previously accepted belief. The top hat (consciousness) is now replaced and the positive suggestions lodged within the subconscious mind can only express themselves as positive thoughts into consciousness. Remember, when you press a button on a computer and it sends a message to the screen, it doesn’t matter whether it is truth or not, the computer will still relay that message word for word. The process of acceptance into the subconscious mind is no different. With The Goulding SleepTalk® Process, we don’t deny a belief or try and get the subconscious mind to forget a belief.
If you compound a suggestion of “I’m OK, I’m loved”, clearly and without distortion, through and into the belief structure of that child’s mind (the subconscious) in the process of SleepTalk®, then eventually that child will start to believe “I’m OK” and will have an acceptance of a positive self image and a positive self esteem. Gradually creating a new belief structure and with that new belief structure, your child will develop the ability to become more discerning about issues. Keep the positive suggestions going each night and you get a compounding effect. It’s like putting money into a bank. One dollar adds onto the next dollar and before long accumulates into something worthwhile – much like compound interest. The positive suggestions will eventually take over and have more power than the (negative accepted) belief.
Would all children benefit from this process?
Most children have problems so yes would be my answer; some parents often say, but my child doesn’t have any problems, however sometimes children don’t share them with anyone, especially not with their parents. I know I didn’t share my problems with my parents and I think many children in this day and age are the same. One of the main advantages or additional aspects about applying this process is the education that the parents gain about the use of positive language. The down line ramifications of change that occurs within the family unit can be quite profound as the process commences to be taken on board.
It sounds to me that this process empowers parents to rectify some of those negative suggestions or situations. Would this be correct?
Absolutely and from the moment of birth and now professionals believe before birth, thoughts, feelings, reactions and memories are registered in the deep sub-conscious mind and those memories, with the accompanying thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions will last for life. Suggestions and auto suggestions are very powerful when given to a child especially by someone in authority over them, so parents have a major role in ensuring that their child develops during their early years a positive mindset.
It is mentioned before that positive results with a wide range of behavior disorders are being achieved with the Goulding SleepTalk® process, such as issues dealing with education, stress and anxiety. Tell me about those.
Positive feedback over the past 40 years has been received, some of which are posted on the home website, especially issues dealing with aggression, behaviour management, stress, fear, anxiety and trauma also. The process is particularly helpful when dealing with issues around education and study, co-operation and concentration. Health issues also respond in a positive manner, such as asthma, bed-wetting, nail biting and speech. It also covers and assists families concerned about sibling rivalry and negative communications.
Professor Ian E Brighthope, a very prominent expert based in Australia, has suggested that this process should be adopted by all parents. He has described it as a sensible, practical and easy to follow method of communicating important messages to the subconscious mind. He considers it especially useful for effecting changes to children’s behavior. He suggests that educators and health professionals consider SleepTalk® in the management of all disorders in which the mind plays a significant role.
The process has been described as the 2 minute gift with changes that lasts a life time. Because it’s important for parents to realise that: “Its not what we leave to our children that matters, it’s what we leave within their minds”.
If you have limited time, would you spend the 30/60mins Reiki-ing yourself OR Meditating?
Is there a difference? To me there is. Meditation, in its purest sense, is the balance of doing nothing – which of course is a paradox but in its deepest sense, true. Meditation is the act of becoming aware of your essence, that which is nothing and all things – the energy, or flow, or life force that underlies your thoughts. In meditation you drop below the thoughts, sinking deep into a sense of self that encompasses everything – and in that way everything is allowed to be, including thoughts and emotions, distractions, aches and pains, irritations and nuisances, bliss and joy, happiness and gratitude – all has equal place and yet no place. Meditation is the touching of the paradox of who you are. The purpose of meditation is to become aware of your true nature.
Reiki, on the other hand, is an action. The applying of your hands on your body activates the channels of your hands to allow energy to pass through from the air (to be very simplistic) into your body. Reiki is an active flow of energy directed and absorbed by the body and so in that sense we are not allowing everything to be, we are filling up and energizing ourselves – the engine is on, the pump is filling, there is a whole bunch of stuff happening here! Of course, one of the benefits of all this balance and energy is our minds do quiet, and we do slip into a deeply meditative state, but we may or may not be aware of this, and we may or may not be looking for the underlying sense of self. The purpose of Reiki is to balance our body-mind-spirit.
So the answer to this question of Reiki or Mediation depends on your priority. At the end of the day it is only your own answer that counts, and it is up to you to come to your own conclusions – each person will make their own decision which is the priority, and it will change day to day, year to year.
Personally when I found Reiki I couldn’t meditate! I was so busy and stressed. So Reiki actually taught me how to balance and quiet my mind, and then I found I could meditate, and now I do both. As Reiki is my main source of fuel, I do this daily without fail, and with deep meditation on and off for intense periods I have found that it comes in more and more in my daily life so that the entire day can be spent in meditation – the sitting in lotus and doing it deliberately becomes less of a formality – I can meditate while waiting for my kid after school sitting in school waiting area, waiting in the supermarket queue, or while travelling in the train / bus – all through the day there are opportunities to come into myself and meditate, so over time there is less formal ‘practice’ and more simply being the results of the practice.
Can Reiki Cure Me?
‘Can Reiki cure me?’ is a common question posed to Reiki Masters and practitioners, whether it is asking about Reiki’s ability to cure an ailment, disease, pain or injury, or asking about the validity of Reiki in replacing surgery or medical intervention. It is extremely important to understand that Reiki is not a replacement for any kind of intervention advised by your doctor; instead, Reiki compliments medical practice.
Reiki works as an amazing balancing factor in the body, and as you continue with your self-treatment, you will most probably find yourself visiting the doctor less. When you are balanced, the body is much clearer in its signals, and you will find yourself much more aware of what your body needs – so it breaks down less and less.
Why do we get sick? Every specialist will have their own theory on this. If you talk to a nutritionist, they will tell you your diet is lacking some nutrient; if you chat to a chiropractor, they will tell you your spinal alignment is creating issues; your energy healer will tell you your Chakra’s are blocked; your Feng Shui Master will tell you the health quadrant in your home needs fixing; your doctor will give you the reason why biochemically things are malfunctioning, and so on. Each one of them may be partially or fully correct, so how do you know what to do?
If you rely on outside ‘experts’ then of course you will be running around in circles. How can any outside expert know your body better than you? The sad fact is that most of us actually think this insane belief to be true – so we rush out and consult with all manner of ‘experts’ trying to find the reason for our illness, and trying to weigh up what to do – without ever consulting the real expert: ourselves. For many of us, it is with good reason – because we have no clue how to consult with our inner wisdom. We are so out of balance, so external focused, so out of touch with our own bodies, that we have no idea what is going on inside. We live in our bodies but we have never ever been within. It is unbelievable that we spend every second of every day in our bodies, yet we are clueless about what is happening inside.
Get in touch with yourself, your body, your pulse again and all the doubts, the indecision, and the fear will disappear. Get to know yourself, and you will know what to do – which medicine to take, when to get a second opinion, when to go to the Doctor, when to go to the Nutritionist, and when to simply go to bed with a good book. It becomes easy, fearless, honest. It doesn’t mean you never go to the Doctor again. Doctors, Nutritionists, Chiropractors, Energy healers… are all tools to help you to heal, to help you to cure. Use them, of course, but keep your inner power, your inner knowledge and never give that away to some outside ‘expert’. Provide your own counsel, but make sure you know yourself first or your inner counsel will be flawed, filled with fear and erroneous beliefs – like you do not need the doctor or the surgery that he recommends you go for, you can heal yourself. Sometimes you can, and sometimes you can’t. Make sure you have the wisdom to tell the difference.
This wisdom comes with balance, and balance comes from inner awareness. Reiki is one of many pathways to inner awareness, and may be one of the easiest. It requires little effort, exercise, or change in lifestyle. It works for anyone over time, and many practitioners have found it such an easy self-help tool that it has become their foundational tool.
When you do your self-treatments, you become calmer, more at peace and as the stress melts away, you become clearer. With clarity comes all kinds of information, wisdom and inner knowledge. It is sometimes as simple as getting still, and listening. In this age of constant noise, getting still is quite a challenge, and that is why therapies like Reiki become so important. Reiki cannot cure you of anything, only you can do that. But Reiki can provide the quiet for you to be able to listen to yourself, and make the right decisions for your own health. And yes, that may be as simple as – do your Reiki – and your body will do the rest.
What can Reiki do for me?